Take a letter

I nearly got run over by a stationery van today. Close thing.
Can you imagine the mix-up that would've caused at the hospital?

Ambulance man: Quick, this chap's been run over by a stationery van
Doctor: A what?
Ambulance man: A stationery van
Doctor: How can you get run over by a stationary van?
Ambulance man: What?
Doctor: I mean, if it's standing still, it can't run you over.
Ambulance man: It wasn't standing still. It was moving. Rather fast, actually.
Doctor: So it wasn't stationary?
Ambulance man: I didn't say it was. It was a moving stationery van.
Doctor: What?
Nurse: Doesn't matter - he's just died.
Doctor: How can you tell?
Nurse: He's stationary.
Ambulance man: Better fill out some paperwork, I suppose. You got any files?
Doctor: Over there in the stationery cupboard. That's it - the one on wheels. We like to be able to move it around. It's a mobile stationery cupboard.
Nurse: You mean the non-stationary stationery cupboard?
Doctor: Don't be stupid. That would be just a cupboard...

Bet you wish it'd got me, now...